#BigRonFilmReviews: Reblogged

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Scary Movie (2000)


Now. Because they made five of these movies it’s easy to forget (….I had) that this first Scary Movie was quite amusing! It helps that it was new, fresh and original and that the films it pokes fun at were very popular back then (less so now I think).

Parody movie done well is a good thing, I refer you to Airplane, Top Secret, Naked Gun, Loaded Weapon or Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood etc etc…. when done badly it’s terrible - please avoid Meet the Spartans, The Starving Games or any of the subsequent Scary Movie films. This one is closer to Naked Gun than Meet the Spartans.

They’re ripping off Scream, I know what you did Last Summer, The Matrix, The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects and they do a good job.of it. Yes there are too many fart gags and the pubic hair scene is not funny but plenty of other stuff is. The Coach’s bollocks shouldn’t be funny but I smiled, the  fat girl with the cat flap is great and I love all the subversive stuff.

 ”We’ll pretend this never happened. You know, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other!”

"My Ass!"

"I got papers, blunts, blongs, blokes, anything to make a high nigga pie!"

"We’re here reporting live for "Black T.V.", white folks are dead so we gettin’ the fuck out of here" "I’ll grab his Ass!"

"Gail Swallows!"

“Here she is. Miss Teen, she’s so fine. Such lovely tits…”



The Expendables 3 (2014)

The best of a three bad movies. Review here.


The Raid 2: Berendal (2014)

Despite wiping out the bad guys in the first Raid movie Rama’s work is not complete. Cleverly they fake his death and imbed him deep in the Jakarta underworld to catch bigger fish in this bigger, bolder more explosive, more violent, more spectacular sequel. The tendency to go bigger in sequels often falls flat but not here, quite the opposite, this is FANTASTIC.

Rama is working with a renegade unit, he has to get himself imprisoned in a jail that can only be described as hell on earth to befriend the son of a bad man and bring down a crime syndicate.

The visual tricks are superb and choreography strangely beautiful for a movie this violent, and boy is it violent - people get beat up, people get beat down, anything and everything is a weapon and even a wall takes a hell of a pasting.

Poses the old, breaking law for the greater good question, with ambiguous heroes and villains and mainly kicks some serious bum. Very hard for me to say whether I preferred one or two more.

"I want you in my team to go undercover"

"Just fuck that guys asshole you stupid bitch!"

"It would be wise to pick a side. Loners don’t tend to last too long in here".

"Well that nobody took out fifteen of my guys!"

"Its not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I don’t trust anybody".

"You wanna fuck or sing? Which is it? Make a decision!".



The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

Surprisingly good. Review here


Tusk (2014)

I’m a Kevin Smith guy so this looks interesting, like Misery crossed with The Skin I live in or (I assume as I haven’t seen it) The Human Centipede.


Oculus (2014)

Cor what was all that about? Pretty good though.

Brenton Thwaites & Karen Gillen had a tragic childhood. Their Father tortured and killed their Mother driving Thwaites kill his Father as a 10 year old boy but what motivated these awful acts? Did they even happen……?

This is an interesting psychological thriller/horror. It plays with reality, I had no idea whether there were supernatural factors in play or of everyone was crazy!

Unique in structure, two stories run concurrently - the tragic past unravelsand is cleverly edited to intertwine with the present story arc of Gillen attempting to prove it was all caused by a haunted Mirror.

It does the quiet, quiet loud thing of course but it’s more than just jump scares. It’s minimal and atmospheric with intermittent gore and moments of enjoyable discomfort.

A solid little movie.



Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Marvel are back and their Universe just got a whole lot bigger and more colourful.

In a galaxy far, far away a Thief, an Assassin, a Racoon, a Dave Bautista and a Tree unite to protect, obtain and again protect a Mcguffin from evil forces.

Run of the mill story arc; sassy band of misfits have to unite and go from squabbling rivals to comrades in arms, blow a lot of stuff up and save the Galaxy. It’s a bit Star Wars, a bit Star Trek and a bit Mars Attacks too.

It is a lot of Fun, Groot in particular was fantastic. There’s blue people, pink people, people with weird heads and it plays for a lot of laughs, landing a higher percentage too.

The cast are all on their respective games, Hollywood has even found a use for Dave Bautista.

Being space set with all the Aliens was meant more CGI that I would have like, I buy in more when its less fantastical but I enjoyed it plenty and i’m fairly sure others will love it.

The Mcguffin is of course an Infinity Stone, a set of stones that at some point will drive some huge 10 hour über crossover movie with ever Marvel character ever in it - I think we’ve seen some of these items in the other Thor and Avengers movies, the mind boggles.

"I am Groot"

"I’m pretty sure the answer is I am Groot"

"I am Groot!"

"Nothing goes over my head!. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it".

"I am surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy!"

"We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy bitch!




Despicable Me (2010)

Alright, alright, so whats the big deal with these movies and these minion things?

Set in a world of Super Villains, sinister plots and evil gadgetry, the Steve Carell voiced Gru is being out-evil-ed by a newcomer. Not to be undone he hatches a plan to steal the moon…

Gru is actually a hapless anti-villain rather than an anti-hero, in theory he’s a badguy but his heart is good and when he adopts so children to implement his plan he very quickly becomes a reluctant Father - to much amusement.

Good voice performances especially from Russell Brand.

Absolute nonsense of course but pretty good in a Wallace and Gromit meets multiple Bond Villains kind of a way. Good zany fun, the devices and antics are indeed enjoyable and the minions are rather brilliant.

Assemble the minions!”

"You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or barf or fart!

"Get the shrikray, then we’ll talk".

"Argh. I hate that guy!"

"Cookie Robots!"



Muppets Most Wanted (2014)

The Muppets are back! This time with a bigger budget, a bigger story and even more cameos (perhaps a few too many).

Straight after the last movie they’re off on a World Tour with new manager in Ricky Gervais… but Kermit has been replaced by Doppelganger Constantine (The most dangerous Frog in the World) and nobody seems to have noticed!

It’s a caper movie with lots of film references, language based gags and a few better better songs - I loved the Number 1 song, brilliant.

Humanwise, love him or hate him Gervais is anything but bland and I preferred him to Jason Segel and I also preferred Tina Fey to Amy Adams too. Sam the Eagle and Ty Burrell have some decent moments and the Muppets do their thing.

All in all I thought this was ok, it made me smile but not really laugh despite the improvement in the human performances I preferred the story in 2011’s ‘The Muppets’.

"We’re doing a sequel" song

"Dominic Bad Guy?"

“Die Muppets? Looks like they’ve got the reviews out early.”

“Do you guys think that Kermit’s been acting a little weird lately?”

"You can do that on our Honeymoon!"

"Evilen Froggen!”

"Bad Frog! Bad Frog!"


Steve Rogers vs Chris Evans - The Winter Soldier Gag Reel (x)

(via deistbrawler)


Hercules (2014)

A decent sword and sandals romp for sword and sandal romp fans

review here


The Muppets (2011)

Jason Segel gets his Puppets wish from Forgetting Sarah Marshall when along with Amy Adams and his Puppet buddy he campaigns to save the Muppets theatre from evil business man Chris Cooper.

I can take or leave the Muppets generally, The Muppet Christmas Carol is wonderful, Muppet Treasure Island less so. This I thought was pretty decent.

The song and dance numbers are bearable, the gags are enjoyably cheesy and I love the 80s Robot.This is littered with cameos and cute little touches and i’m all in for all the meta art imitating life imitating art moments.

My only gripe would be not enough Statler & Waldorf but like the movie itself perhaps there is still a demand for Muppets - I only watched this so that I could watch the new Most Wanted movie and i’m now keen to do so.

This is feel good family stuff and I found it charming.

"If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were reciting some sort of important plot point".

"Maniacal laugh"

"You kidnapped Jack Black? That’s illegal!"

"Not right now 80s robot"

"You guys aren’t famous anymore!"

"I could be a Muppet!"



The Company You Keep (2012)

Robert Redford is a bereaved, successful Laywer and single Parent. In his youth he was a key member of a Vietnam War Opposition (Terrorist) Group…. unfortunately these things have a way of catching up with you….

This is a thoughtful chase movie in which the characters slowly evolve on all sides along with the plot. This takes a tough stance on Vietnam and Phoney wars and it’s hard not to sympathise with the group, which means you’re a) sympathising with terrorists and b) taking an anti government stance on i.e Iraq or Afghanistan without perhaps realising it… (woah way too much Politics there!)

Redford proves an extremely resourceful fugitive and the aged former action group remain covert and hyper organised, it’s much cleverer than your average spy movie. There is a little twist in here that in retrospect makes perfect sense.

Performance wise Shia LeBoeuf is very impressive as the upstart reporter whilst Redford oozes class and we have excellent support from an all-star cast.

I found this interesting, subtle and compelling. A damn fine watch.

Yeah we all died. Some of us just came back”

 No. I… I barely have furniture

I’m not offended, you’re pretty much exactly what I expected.

"I had it wrong Ray. He’s dead".

"Thank you for listening".

"I think he knows how to run which means he has an advantage".



The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

This movie picks up the one idea from the first one and runs with it. However where the first one was set around a wealthy Ethan Hawke’s family home this film follows an uneasy alliance cut loose in the poorer part of town on Purgenight…. and they’re having a very shitty night.

I thought the first one was ok (although my review suggests I liked it less at the time) and I think I enjoyed this one more. It’s kind of like an adult Hunger Games or a Running Man with a little bit of Friday the 13th thrown in for good measure.

I like humans committing atrocities in my horror movies, not ghosts, ghouls or monsters and this movie has a dark and sinister edge that I find healthily alluring.

They’ve expanded the story hinting at a political story arc for another sequel in this cruel world. Probably with Omar Chalky White, a militant Martin Luther King type with ambitions to overthrow the government. If that is the way it goes there is probably mileage in it.

Frank Grillo is rather good as the tragic hero with a past, reluctantly keeping his new friends alive and being a real badass along the way. His revenge arc is decent, if predictable and if this franchise does get a third movie I hope he comes back for it.

Dark and violent with some good action and the odd surprise.

"Only when their blood is spilled will we see change".

"We don’t save lives. Tonight we take lives. We can’t have any interference. We can’t have heroes."

"At the siren all crime, including murder will be legal for twelve hours".

"People like us, we don’t survive tonight!"

"Just remember all the good the Purge does".