#BigRonFilmReviews: Reblogged

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A Long Way Down (2014)
Nick Hornby’s tonally difficult book translated into tonally difficult film that I actually think benefits from the change in medium and the performances of it stars.
Four lost souls collide atop a tall building at Midnight on New Years Eve. Each have their own motivation to jump, shame, lost love, Cancer and to benefit their disabled son. An anti-suicide pact ensues and we end up with a rather nice story about people, friendship, healing, hope and despair.
The dark subject matter here shouldn’t work - I mean people being desperate enough to consider killing themselves is not funny (even to a sick bastard like myself) but it JUST about does. At least it works far better than the book, which is of course a rare thing.
The performances really help this movie. I caught the lousy Need for Speed the other night in which Poots and Paul were barely bearable and I feared for their careers. Here they both are wonderful. Poots hilarious and Paul dramatically solid. A downtrodden Mother is a well travelled road for Toni Colette and she is as reliable as ever. Brosnan meanwhile gives the kind of bumbling yet charming comedic performance you might expect from Bill Nighy.
Enchanting in places with clever dialogue lifted straight from the book, I giggled, I smiled and all in all enjoyed it.
"I’m not quite sure how to say this…. Are you going to be long?"
"Fuck the pact!"
"Who the fuck is John?"
"Colon would have been better!"
"We promise not to kill ourselves before Valentines Day!"
"I’ve taken some pills!"
"Has anyone ever told you you’re a bit of an idiot?"
"You’re a Paedophile! Like Martin!"


Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Dances with Wolves only rather than Indians we have awesome looking mo-cap monkey’s with machine guns + a really cute baby one! I’m in.

Review here


How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)
Five Years on and Hiccup & Toothless are back, reunited with his long lost Mother and battling to save Berk and their Dragons from a Twisted Dragon Lord type guy.
Yeah, it’s pretty good. They’ve picked up on what worked well in the first one and really focussed on it.
There are loads and loads more dragons, big ones, small ones, bloody huge ones, flappy ones, swoopy ones, firey ones, icey ones and cute baby ones. They’ve very much made dragons Viking’s best friend and being a huge dog lover I think that works perfectly. Toothless is a fantastic sidekick and they canine-ised him brilliantly, I just lapped up his relationship with Hiccup.
Like every good animation its a great balance of  tension, suspense, sadness, and lovely swooping action to go along the humour you expect. Borrowing on occasion from Godzilla and maybe Avatar it really works and I enjoyed it end to end.
“This is why I never married…… Well, this and one other reason.”.
"Save the Dragons".
"Toothless.. You know that doesn’t wash out!".
“You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you”
“Well, now you know where I get my dramatic flair”.
“Itchy Armpit it is”.
“I’ll bloody his fist with my face if he tries to take my dragon!”


How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

Goooood. Review here


How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
Hiccup voiced by Jay Baruchel, son of the Viking Chief. His destiny is to follow in his Father’s footsteps as a great Dragonslayer. Unfortunately he is typically awkward and much more interesting in inventions and the like. When much like the book and terrible movie Eragon he befriends a Dragon an exciting, entertaining, amusing tale that is not without mild peril ensues. 
A charming tale set in a mythical world of Dragons and Vikings. This is all about the bond between the young boy and his friend - I would imagine there is a commentary on racism or similar in here too but crucially is a fantastic kids film enjoyed by an adult.
Really enjoyable - I think i’ll check out number 2.
“I wouldn’t kill him, because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him and I saw myself.
“And my undies. Good thing I brought extras”.
“I knew it… I’m dead”.

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Putting aside the classic sequel cop out “I dunno send them on Holiday?”, this time to Thailand this isn’t too bad. 
I mean it is what it is. 
Zellweger is squinty eyed and equal parts frumpy, clumsy and cute, Hugh Grant is a dashing English rogue and has a running “I’m posher than you” battle with the all too-charming-to-be-true Colin Firth.
It’s harmless, hapless humour, occasional naughty with some slapstick and a cracking Madonna homage.
The writing is pretty good with some decent lines and you can’t beat two posh blokes having a fight or seeing Bridget on magic mushrooms.
Passable entertainment in the Richard Curtis mould.
"Fine, though, er, I’ve just had a rather graphic shag flashback. You do have a genuinely gorgeous bottom"
"That’s not your coat".
"Is it true that he says "I’m sorry but I need to cum"".
"Oh god I hope you’re wearing the giant panties".
"You be-shit right?"

The Skeleton Key (2005)
A nurse that takes a private position at a Spooky New Orleans plantation gets a lot more than she bargained for.
I think I may be on my own in this one but I absolutely love this movie, incredibly atmospheric with decent performances from Husdon are Sarsgaard, the flashbacks shocking, the magic interesting plus any film with Papa Justify has to be good. This movie is all about the ending, first time round I just did not see that coming.
Splendid stuff.
"Child, I believe you broke my legs".
"It can’t hurt you if you don’t believe".

Spider-man 3 (2007)
Rewatch of the movie that put me off Super hero movies for several years. (I avoided Iron Man for four years because of this thing!).
Spider-man is far from my favourite superhero, especially when he’s played by Tobey Maguire, a man neither cool enough to be a hero or good looking enough to be shagging Kirsten Dunst.
This movie doesn’t really work. The triple villain threat is complete overkill. We have the well trodden Peter and Harry Frenemies thing, Thomas Haden Church as Uncle Ben’s killer turned Sandman AND the Symbiote who turns Peter into bad Spider-man. The problem with so many baddies is you only scratch the surface, any of the three explored properly might have been wonderful.
Bad Peter, with the slick down hair and the John Travolta hips is just awful - beyond cringeworthy. However on the plus side the Bruce Campbell cameo is superb.
Spectacular stunts yes but heavy on cgi with a terrible ending and just not a patch on the current marvel stuff.
"Table for two Pecker!"

(Source: bigronfilmreviews, via untrustus9)


Tsotsi (2005)
Think South African City of God and yeah, probably just as good.
Like all clever movies this balances the light and the dark. Our antihero Tsotsi as a hustler, a ruthless killer that holds no value in Human life, a man that will do anything to survive. However when Tsotsi is lumbered with a small baby we see his human side. It is this display of humanity that is ultimately his undoing.
This is one of those movies that seems to capture the time and place perfectly, it captures the squalid conditions, the danger and difficulties of like in the Soweto township much like City of God did with the Favellas. I certainly would not want to live there.
It’s actually a very simple story but an incredibly effective and affecting one with superb performances from the main character and i’d highly recommend it.
“Now look what you’ve done… you’ve made an old man piss his pants”.
“What kind of bastard would break a dog’s back?”

Crocodile Dundee II (1988)
The charismatic leather faced bastard is back for more fish out of water action comedy. 
Mick and Sue end up in schtuck when Sue’s ex husband sends her some photographs of the Columbian drug cartel up to no good and have to head back to Australia where Mick can fight a battle on his own terms.
It’s essentially just another vehicle to play up on quirky Australianisms and have some fun and whilst, of course this is not as good as the first one but it is a lot of fun.
The Columbian drug sterotypes are what they are, there’s some fun stuff with Aborigines and it turns out Mick owns a piece of land the size of New York State that even has a gold mine on it. Who knew? good old Mick. 
“Better than average”
“He wants to know if we’re allowed to eat these men”
“Nah. I don’t need one. I got a Donk”
“Tell Mick if he want his clothes back, he can climb down there and get them his bloody self.”
“Nah - needs garlic”

Crocodile Dundee (1986)
Guilty pleasure rewatch.
Double fish out of water comedy drama. Linda Koslowski (amazing swimsuit) is writing a piece on ‘Crocodile’ Mick Dundee. He saves her from a polystyrene croc and feeds her some dodgy grub then it’s back to NYC for crotch grabbing, boyfriend punching, knife wielding merriment.
Love it. The scene in the subway station with the West Indian Guy and heavily accented New Yorker is just brill.
Paper thin plot and cheesy lines but it’s lots of fun and it’s on twice a day in the UK which is always handy.
"Tastes like shit, but you can eat it".
"She not gon marry Richar".
"That’s not a knife".
“Flat out like a lizard drinkin’”.





Directed by Bong Joon-ho, Written by Bong Joon-ho and Kelly Masterson, Starring Chris Evans, Tilda Swinton, John Hurt, Octavia Spencer and Song Kang-ho

Synopsis - Set in a future where a failed climate-change experiment kills all life on the planet except for a lucky…

A UK release of any kind would be lovely

22 Jump Street


Calm down film with your sequel jokes and meta shit, you’re all too adorable.

That was the most responsive cinema crowds I’ve been part of since The Heat came out - glad everyone else enjoyed it as much as I did!


Mrs. Brown’s Boys D’Movie (2014)
Oh bloody hell. Sigh. I’m considering changing the name of my blog to #BigRonSlagsOfMovies.
I did not want to watch this movie. Time convenience and curiosity driven by this making it UK number 1 have driven me to make a very, very bad decision.
This is of course a very poor excuse for a movie. In the main Blokes dressed as women ceased to be funny in c1975 - I can’t imagine it was that funny then.
A TV star from a show I do not watch ends up in trouble with the Taxman and tries to save his/her market stall.
It’s lowbrow nonsense - in a bad way. It parodies a few superior films pushes a few boundaries by being just a little bit racist and is huge stinking turd of a movie.
I really didn’t even crack a smile, it’s maybe better than the Keith Lemon movie but probably not even that.
"Feck off!"
"Sometimes you’re as useless as a knitted condom"
"Does it involve Blind Ninjas?"
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